I want to tell you a story about a role model of mine and one of the nicest people I’ve ever known…my Grandpa Johnson. Sadly we lost him in March 2008, but as with any great human being, life lessons linger on. 

When I was younger, probably 16 or 17 years old, Grandpa Johnson took me off to the side one day and said he had something he wanted to talk to me about. Curious, and a little nervous, I asked him what it was. He told me that he knew someone in the family had sent me a birthday card with a little money in it and they hadn’t heard whether I received it or not.

Feeling that knot in my stomach, the one you feel when you have disappointed someone, he went on to say (and I’m paraphrasing):

“If someone takes the time to think about you and send you a card, money, gift or something else for your birthday, it’s not asking much to give them a call or write a note telling them Thank You. If you don’t do that, then they may stop doing it because they don’t think you appreciate them.”

He went on to give me a little pocket calendar in which he had hand written the birthdays, wedding anniversaries and other important dates from all of our family members.

From that point on and to this very day, I put recurring annual appointments on my Google calendar: birthdays, wedding anniversaries, anniversaries of the day people lost loved ones, and other important dates.

Each year, I send them a note or call when those days arrive. Additionally, I make sure to thank anyone that does the same for me. 

I’ve shared that story with many people over the years and it recently got me thinking about things that I (and I imagine Grandpa Johnson) would consider common courtesy. And as I’ve gotten older and wiser, it seems like common courtesy isn’t as prevalent as it used to be…in life…or in business. 

I want to bring it back. I’m going to do my best Justin Timberlake impression and try to make common courtesy sexy again. I’m far from perfect and I’m sure I’ve missed some important dates for people along the way, but my heart is in the right place. This list is far from all inclusive, but we have to start somewhere. 

This blog post is dedicated to my Grandpa Johnson. I guess you could say it’s my final Thank You note to him. 

15 Ways To Bring Common Courtesy Back

1. Say Thank You. A lot.
2. Say Please. A lot. 
3. Do at least one nice thing for someone else every day.
4. The next time you are thinking about someone, act on it. An email, a phone call, a text…don’t let the thought slip away. 
5. When you ask someone for help, return the favor. 
6. Hold yourself accountable. Once you learn to do that, then teach others to do it.
7. Open or hold the door for someone else. 
8. When you tell someone you are going to do something, do it. 
9. Reply promptly to emails, phone calls, texts, Facebook comments, Tweets, etc. 
10. Show up to ALL meetings on time. If you’re going to be late, call and let the other person know.
11. If someone invites you to do something and you can’t go or don’t want to go, at least thank them for thinking of you.
12. Refer business to someone at least once a week. Or at least tell people in your network about them.
13. If you see trash anywhere, pick it up.
14. If you end a business relationship or friendship, take the road less traveled by and tell them why.
15. If you love, appreciate, admire, respect, are inspired by, or look up to anyone, TELL THEM. It will make their day.

Thank you for reading. I really appreciate it. If you know others that might enjoy this post, please share it with them. If you have other common courtesy tips, share them!

If I had $1  for all the times people have complained about their networking groups, I could go on vacation for the rest of 2012.  We like to talk about things that have a solid impact on people professionally and personally, and I realized this week that I have never really hit on this topic.  I hope this resonates with you!

Networking Groups

I would define a networking group as a group of people that get together on a monthly, semi-monthly or weekly basis with the hopes of sharing leads.  (Personally, I think weekly is WAY TOO OFTEN)  I think the basic premise of these groups is solid… the fact that people will refer business to people that they like and trust, so you need to get to know people that are out in the community selling to the same companies that you are.  The problem is that most networking groups suck.  Not pulling any punches here. 

If we can agree that the primary goal of being a part of a networking group is to find leads and new opportunities for your business, how do the groups you are involved in measure up?  Are you getting regular leads to good companies that actually need the product or service you are offering?

Often, networking groups become a hit and miss social event.  Once or twice a year you might get a good lead from someone in the group.  You know it, and I know it.  There is also a social stigma attached to how people are going to feel if you LEAVE the group because it is not an effective way for you to grow your business.  When I say all these things in public speaking engagements, I get a whole bunch of head nodding… everybody gets it and wishes it were different. 

My advice?  Take the opportunity THIS WEEK to leave any group that isn’t having a measurable and positive impact on your business.  The impact can be leads, business advice from your peers or simply brand visibility… but your investment of time needs to have a return.

Current Process = Waste of Time

First, let me describe how a typical networking group operates.  The members go around the table and do a 60 second elevator pitch on what they sell to make a living.  Then, there is social time.  Then, at the very end, people say to each other, “Hey, if you know of anybody that needs <insert your product or service here>, be sure to send them my way!”  Here is the problem… you are putting all the burden of the referral on your peer, who might even have a good relationship with your prospective client. 

What I mean by this is that:

• They don’t really understand what you do to help your clients whether product or service.
• Therefore, they don’t really feel confident in referring their trusted relationship to you.
• They are busy, just like everybody else and don’t need another thing on their plate to think about after the meeting.
• So NOTHING HAPPENS.

Sound familiar?  The exception to this rule is when you refer a good client to them and they feel obligated to return the favor… often with a half-assed attempt so they can cross that burden off their list.

Game Changer : A Better Way

The best thing you can do to make your networking group more effective is a simple change to the program.  Go around the table and give each person 5 minutes.  In that time, they need to tell the group the 2 or 3 most recent clients they have signed up, and then talk about 2 or 3 prospects they are trying to land as customers. It’s that easy.

Do you see the difference here?  Now all the burden is on YOU to be prepared when you come to the table.  Think about it… you mention the 2 or 3 clients that you are starting to do business with and all of a sudden various people around the table are saying, “oh yeah!  I do business with them too!”  I like to call that moment Real-Time LinkedIn.  The simple fact that you are doing business with the same companies will create trust and respect.  You will find that all kinds of conversations are stirred up based on the simple fact that you started doing business with a company that others know about or do business with also.

If you are tired of feeling like your networking group is a waste of time, I really hope that you will try my suggestion on a format change.  Please let me know if you agree with me about typical networking groups, and especially let me know if my suggestion makes a difference in the effectiveness of your groups!